fall.

love me some fall leaves.

i just don't know why utah thinks snow comes before leaves.

i'll just enjoy this while it lasts.

love,

lo.

fala-fail.

there are a few new things.

my grandma sarah moved from california to georgia last week. the news came quickly so there wasn't much prep time for my parents, but i think everything worked out and now she has officially moved to the east coast!

i'm excited to be able to go home and see my family...

but on the bright side,

i found out yesterday that kenzie and robby on a slight whim are both coming to provo for thanksgiving! this is the first time family has come to provo for thanksgiving so i'm thrilled. that makes my dad, kenzie, and robby. so excited! we're just going to have a nice little reunion here in utah.

needless to say, i'm happy for things to come.

on a completely unrelated note, lately with school i have had little to no time to exercise or cook most of my meals so i have been feeling less than wonderful in terms of health. 
my family is vegan, and when i went home over the summer i was exposed to different foods i probably wouldn't have tried otherwise. one of those new foods was falafel. at the time i thought it was good, but i didn't think it was amazing. 
well, i started craving it a few days ago and so i went to the store and bought all the ingredients to make it. i finally made it yesterday.
i call this one
fala-fail.

i don't have a food processor so i was chopping and squashing things by hand. when i finished following the recipe, it was not pliable at all. it kept falling apart. 

with a little help from the queen of culinary arts, my sister, i made it work.

maybe next time i'll try to find a food processor...

but the recipe is great and pretty easy.

if you're curious, the recipe is

falafel with a twist

from Oh She Glows, 

a website devoted to vegan recipes.

the word vegan might scare you, but just try something.

i dare you to not like it.

i'm not a strict vegan myself.

my family has never really eaten dairy or a lot of meat so my diet is accustomed to that. then when i left the house they became more strict vegans. i've tried some really delicious vegan dishes, and i've tried some that were a little less than savory, but overall i think vegan food will surprise you. the one summer i went home after my freshman year at school [where, needless to say, i gained my freshman weight]

i came home to a vegan diet.

i wasn't thrilled, but i ended up losing the weight i had gained and i felt extraordinarily healthy, even though i wasn't even running like i had been doing before.

i'm not saying to go crazy and change your whole lifestyle, though that's what my mother and sister would advocate,

but just add some vegan dishes to your diet.

you'll feel healthier and happier with more whole and living foods.

it's actually not as hard as you might think.

bon appetit.

love,

lo.

stop.

"In moments of fear or doubt 

or troubling times, hold the

ground you have already 

won, even if that ground is 

limited... 

Hope on. Journey on. 

Honestly acknowledge your 

questions and your concerns, 

but first and forever fan 

the flame of your faith."

-Elder Jeffrey R. Holland,

"Lord, I Believe"

this is my favorite talk.

it is one that has been very personal to me and has guided me in some way on many occasions.

& if you're like me, life has knocked you around once or twice. it's like this:

life is hard.

you get through.

just around the corner it's better.

you get a short break (maybe) and then something else gets thrown at you.

at least that's how i've been feeling the past several weeks months. people kept telling me that i was doing great. they said to hang in there because after having a hard time for such a long time, there must be something so good around the corner. well, first off, it took forever to get to that corner. second off, i feel like once i got around that corner, whatever was on that first road followed me down the second even though i wasn't facing it head-on anymore.

i know this is very cryptic, and i apologize for that.

bottom-line, life is hard.

it sounds cliché, but it is.

and it seems so easy to let it getcha down.

so let me hop on my soapbox for a sec.

(just one second, i promise.)

yeah, it may seem like you can never catch a break.

but that doesn't mean you are in this perpetual state of weakness. you are getting stronger. you are learning every single second and you are better for it. you might feel alone, but you'll start to see that you never were and never have been alone. Act on what faith and belief you do have and it will only continue to grow.

so stop feeling sorry for yourself. 

stop being afraid to make some mistakes. 

 stop holding onto the past and things you can't change. 

stop trying to be someone you're not for someone who doesn't matter. 

stop holding grudges. 

stop worrying. 

stop thinking you aren't ready.

stop letting people bring you down.

but also my favorite, stop acting like it's fine when it's not.

the other day i rediscovered this gem:

thirty things to stop doing to yourself.

read it.

you might just need it.

you are going to have tough days.

but you are also going to have the opportunity to take those days and be a conqueror instead of being defeated.

empower yourself.

you're a conqueror in my book.

love,

lo.